


The Price of Being Held

by viajera_pensativa



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Ficlet, Loss of Virginity, Post-Coital Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 22:02:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19710325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viajera_pensativa/pseuds/viajera_pensativa
Summary: People always assumed it was orgasming that made him lose his soul. How shortsighted people can be.





	The Price of Being Held

**Author's Note:**

> I tagged this as underage as an extreme precaution since it references Buffy losing her virginity underage. But this is not at all about sex. See more notes at end.

People always assumed it was the orgasm that cost him his soul, as if something so pedestrian as an orgasm is equivalent to 'perfect happiness.' People were idiots. They don't think logically. If orgasming cost him his soul, even an orgasm with her, she might have been dead already. Angelus could hardly have contained himself from sinking his fangs into her neck if he were released mid-climax.

No, it wasn't the orgasm. If Buffy had gotten up and left as soon as they finished, he might have never lost his soul again. He might have continued on with his nights as he did most nights -- this night with something new to brood about, namely, whether Buffy was actually OK with what happened. 

Instead, she stayed. In his bed. In his arms. Nuzzling him and whispering sweet nothings, their faces so close together they could feel each others' breath as they drifted off to sleep in the warm sheets, their arms and legs, torsos and butts all melding into one another ever so perfectly. He lay there a long time, half-conscious, as relaxed as he'd been in centuries. He hadn't been held like this by a lover since...ever. As a human, his conquests never meant _intimacy_. Nor had he shared such loving embraces with Darla. With her there was passion, and wicked delight, but not that deep, abiding trust that all was right with the world for this moment, however illusory that sensation may be. Could demons even feel such a thing?

He could not remember feeling so in a very long time. Not since he was a (human) child in his mother's arms, being held and rocked as she sang him a lullaby. Centuries passed between those few short years of childhood and that night with Buffy, but there was a line of connection between the two experiences, and his soul shifted, and settled in a way it hadn't since early in another life. He was safe. He was home. 

And then, just as he was basking in it--without even realizing it, really, his conscious mind asleep--the curse took effect, and it was gone. It wasn't sex, or even orgasm, that cost Angel his soul. It was cuddling.

**Author's Note:**

> So, did this make sense to people? I've always thought it didn't make sense how people pin the soul loss on sex or orgasm. This is my headcanon about what happened that night. Tell me what you think (be kind even if you disagree please).


End file.
